Telling myself "no".

First let me start by saying I HAVE to lose at least 30 pounds for my health.  This is a mandate from my doc due to recent health issues.  And even if that was not mandated -- seriously -- it's pretty obvious.

My kids hear the word No from me several times a day. "Mom, can I have this candy?  Mom, can I work on the computer 5 minutes longer?  Mom, can I just skip shower tonight and shower in the morning? Mom, can we have a friend come over [even though our room isn't clean]?"

The answer to all these questions is almost ALWAYS no.  It's not that those things are bad things... they could easily get a "yes", but the fact of the matter is, I have set rules and they need to learn dicipline.  I'm reminded of the scripture 1 Corinthians 10:23 - "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive.  The girls are learning that they cannothave everything they want, even if it's possible.  I grew up with strict parents and I'm pretty strict myself...

So today I started to think about how many times I actually tell myself "No."  Financially, I'm totally able to do this.  No Ronnie, you don't need a manicure and pedicure or your brows waxed -- you need to get school clothes for the girls this month."  That makes sense to me and I don't have issues with that.  That is concrete -- there is only so much money in a pay cycle so even if I wanted to say "yes" to those things, it's permissable, but definitley not beneficial sometimes.

But when I examine my self-discipline when it comes to my health & nutrition I cannot  seem to tell myself "no".  I am having serious acid reflux issues.  So bad they actually had me do a sonogram to see if it was my galbladder.  It's pretty severe.  I'm also on the verge of becoming diabetic.  Diabetes runs DEEP on both sides of my family.  Yet I have a hard time sacrificing acidic food (most of my favorite food is acidic) and sugar.  Pasta and bread -- I am SO weak!  And spicy -- I cannot get my food spicy enough -- I love salsa so much I could eat it with a spoon just by itself.  And these are things I should seriously limit.  They are things that could cause my body severe damage.  Why is it so easy to let the word "no" roll off my tongue to teach dicipline to the kids -- yet I cannot say this word to myself???  My health should be something I take seriously!

I went in search of techniques I could use to help me with this.  I grew up in a holistic household -- chiropractor dad, hypnotherapist mom -- There has to be a way I can hypnotise myself into loving to have vegetables all the time and have wonderful portion control.  There has to be a way to gain self-control right?  So, I'm enlisting my mom's help of course, and I'm going to do some "tapping" to help... but ultimately, it's time I ask God for help.  I ask God for his help in so many aspects of my life.  I just disn't think I should bother him with this... but i have come to realize that this is important stuff -- In  Galatians 5:22-23 it says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."    Self control is a fruit, or gift, from the holy spirit... So -- I'm going to start telling myself no and re-learning to discipline myself. 

Wish me luck!