I've got my eye(s) on You!

It is super hard for me to give up control, or moreover, what I perceive as my control on things.  I am finding myself in a situation where I have no earthy idea what to do.  None what-so-ever.  It involves my kids, and their dad, and the choices he makes.  I won't share the details publicly like this, but lets just say -- my kids are hurting over it.  They are continuously disappointed and hurt and feel inadequate because of situations that arise when they are with him.   I feel like I have exhausted myself trying to make it better for them but ultimately it's beyond my control.  I can control the way I respond to situations, and I can help them try to deal with their own feelings about these situations.  Seeds of anger are planted in them and that is so poisonous and dangerous.  I do not want anger rooting itself in their innocent hearts like this, especially against someone they love so much.  I need to find ways to help them.  I'm torn between bringing too much focus to the issue and not enough focus.
  

Ultimately, God is asking me to give up my control and rely on him to get us through this.  I know he is.  I was unable to sleep last night.  I tossed and turned about it.   This morning I woke up and worked out and then set off to write a post about a funny thing that happened when I was finally falling asleep.  As I logged in a post from a friend jumped out in my blog reading list and so I went to read it.  I didn't actually end up reading that post because the one below it struck me so suddenly.  The words that jumped off her page were this:

• For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you. (2 Chronicles 20:12)
• The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  (Exodus 14:14) 
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”   (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I opened my Bible, read more of 2 Chronicles 20 and then mulled this over for a bit.  

Then had the following conversation...

me: Lord, I know you are trying to tell me this but Duh -- I know this.  I have to rely on you.  AND I HAVE! I have come to you with this same issue over and over and over again throughout these last four years.

God: ... <silence> ...
     (sidenote: I sometimes imagine God like a parent listening to his 
      child ramble... trying to talk her way out of trouble ... waiting for 
      her to come to the right conclusion)

me: I mean really -- I pray about this a lot. (I mentally went over my repeated phrases that have become so familiar: Lord please help me to make the right choices for the girls with this.  Help me to help them with their anger, give me the right words to say when they are so hurt.  Please give me the strength not to be angry myself.  Please give us the peace that surpasses all understanding... blah blah blah...) you KNOW God.

God:  ... <waiting> ...

me: I just DO NOT know what to do next to make it better. What am I supposed to do???

God:  ... <still waiting> ...

And in that moment I realized that I am constantly asking for help with the actions I've already decided to take, I think.  When I pray, I have made up my mind on the course of action I think might by right and then I pray for help or guidance or wisdom with those actions.  Or I pray for strength to "react" the way that is best for the girls, but I have never truly surrendered this to him.  Not ever... 

I am always praying for God to reveal ways for me to teach the girls to live faith.  Just maybe this is my big chance to really live my faith in front of them and SHOW them.  So, I'm surrendering this to him.  My eyes are on You, Lord.