A little scary

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21)


I am a social person.  When I get an idea, I pray about it -- A LOT.  Then, sometimes I talk to people about it.  First I talk to Richard and I get his take on things and maybe some advice.  If it's something the kids should have a say in, I talk to them.  Then I talk to my mom and my sister, my dad, and/or my brothers about it as the idea starts to form into action.  Then, if I can, I sometimes run it by friends.  By the time I'm ready to implement my idea, I'm pretty sure it's safe and the right way.  I feel like I'm a realist.  This is definitely not the same as pessimistic.  I don't go in expecting the worst.  I do however, like to think about the worst thing that could happen, and then try to at least have a plan.  I go in hoping for the best, being positive, and then prepare for the worst "just in case".


This typically means I take a long time to make decisions if time allows for it.  I wish I hadn't taken so long to hire a trainer.  My trainer is moving in a month and I'm having lots of anxiety about it.  I didn't plan for this so I feel a little off.  I thought he'd be there for me to meet my goals.  And while he's not abandoning me -- I still feel like I'm running out of time and it's making me a little crazy.  I started thinking about hiring one in spring of 2011 -- maybe march. Started saving some $ and tried to figure out how to go about it.  If i'd done it then, I'd have spent a year achieving my goals and maybe be done.  But i didn't.  and now he's leaving -- and I've been with him for 6 months.  I'm not sure I can do it without him.  (ok, thats not true -- I know I can.  He's taught me so much, but not sure I have the self discipline to do it.)  I have a month to prepare to do this on my own... wish me luck!